Nascent Transphobia of Genital Preferences
The canard that genital preferences are a sign of transphobia appears to be gaining cultural cache. One thing I noticed with dating apps is the collapsing of categorization between cis women and trans women. Most apps let you filter by height, race, religion, etc. but not whether you are interested in cis or trans women.
It just makes dating apps really annoying to use now. I'm a straight guy who tends to prefer slightly androgynous-looking women. For whatever reason, years ago I either did not encounter transwoman listed under "women", or maybe there just weren't as many trans people back then. So I was much more free-wheeling with approaching those types of (cis) women and trying to message them. Now I don't bother anymore, because the ambiguity has spilled over into "that might not be an androgynous-looking cis woman, that might be a trans woman" and it's just totally not worth trying to figure it out. Sometimes the bio will say 'trans', but sometimes I'm left swiping through the photos, playing a weird version of 'spot the difference' between all the pictures, trying to discern whether they (likely) have a penis or not. There is no universe where I will ask a stranger whether they have a dick or not.
Right now, about 10% of the messages I get online are from transwomen (I live in a neighborhood with a ton of trans folks) and it just seems like a giant waste of time for everyone. I am not interested in trans women, and no amount of exposure therapy will make me change my mind on that. If Grindr wasn't already a thing, I'd be curious how an app specifically targeted towards men attracted to men would fare if it was released today.
On the flipside, I don't think I would be categorically opposed to dating a transman, but only if no surgeries or hormone therapy had taken place and they acted feminine. Because so long as you have a cis woman's body and physical features and general feminine affect, I don't necessarily care what's in your head. But if that's the case, I'd start to wonder exactly what it meant for them to identify as a man if their gender expression changed either barely or trivially. What is weird is that if I said "I am attracted to feminine transmen who have not elected nor planning any surgery or hormone therapy", I'd be technically labeled "gay" even if this person functionally in my mind is no different from the cis women I typically date.
I recall having a big crush on what looked like a very attractive cis woman with short hair, but their profile listed them as "trans". I was very confused, especially because they had full body shots and they definitely looked like a cis woman there as well. It wasn't until I swiped through their Instagram that I saw a topless photo where they had their breasts surgically removed. My immediate reaction was sadness. It was difficult not to see a very attractive woman opting for mutilating surgery due to their dysphoria.